I showed up in Los Angeles just a couple of weeks ago, thinking I would be here for just a few days. Here I am beginning this month long apprenticeship with Parashakti. You just never know what the Divine has in store for you! I am learning that one of the most important and often challengingthings you can do for yourself is TRUST, trust, trust.
I left NY with a broken heart and hit the open road with a few bags and an intention- to let go of the self limiting beliefs I have carried for so long and step into my power, my creativity, my fire. But how? How do we go from being our own worst enemy to becoming our own best ally?
Here begins my documentation of this journey back home to myself.
My apprenticeship program started on Friday Dec. 20 & is a weekend DOL immersion. I joined Parashakti as she facilitated a Dance of Liberation intensive for a group of alumni of Rebecca’s House- an eating disorder treatment program in Long Beach, California. We began with a shamanic journey ~ guided meditation. Blindfolded and lying down Parashakti invited us to set an intention for this journey we were about to begin. I prayed to find my power, my strength, that I know already exists within and unleash it! From there we shut the door on whatever was holding us back from realizing these parts of ourselves and were guided to meet our spirit guides.
I pulled back the curtain and there I was- half dragon, half woman. Cloaked in black, face smeared in black paint with wings black as midnight with the most brilliant sheen. My tongue hung from my wide open mouth as I danced wildly and fiercely, with clear and powerful movements. My legs kicking high and straight above my head. No hesitation. No fear of my power. I breathed fire. It coursed through my veins, animating me as I realized my true nature.
Parashakti’s voice- “Breathe this energy in!” I felt my heart expand and open. As I inhaled, a solidity, a strength entered me and filled my core. I AM HERE!
In awe of how instantaneously my prayer was answered, we began to dance the Dance of Liberation.
Dancing blindfolded can seem a bit scary- will I fall? will I run into someone? But the container Parashakti had created for the alumni and myself combined with meeting my spirit guide allowed me to turn inward and let the dance come from within my soul. I trusted my feet to lead me around the room. Undistracted by the movements of others, I connected to my breath, my body, and the fire inside. I felt liberated.
The Dance of Liberation immersion continued on Saturday morning whenParashakti and I went to Soul Motion dance in Culver City. Guided by Parashakti to ask myself the right questions, I prayed. What do I need to nourish and embody this Shakti energy? How can I stay connected to this fire growing within me? Connecting to this intention, I began to dance. So much comes up when we dance with an open heart. In the dance I felt strong, fluid, free, and filled with joy. In moments I felt my wounds of abandonment, shame, and unworthiness.
Opening your heart and allowing the dance to move you does not mean it is all “light”. Our bodies hold it all, the light and the dark, the confusion and the clarity. The dance brings it all to the surface so we can face the shit. What a gift!
This work with Parashakti is deep and it is sacred. Words cannot describe the gratitude I feel for her spirit. I am being given the gift of sacred space to unravel and the guidance and support to begin to re-weave the fabric of my being into the divine masterpiece I am here on this earth to become.