Hearing the Call of Wild Woman

The new yearhas arrived and I am sure I am not the only one feelinga freshness, a crispness, an aliveness. There seems to be a collective energy propelling new things into motion in these beginning days of 2016. Do you feel it?

Saturday at Wanderlust Hollywood was my initiation as a Gatekeeper for Dance Of Liberation. Spirit sent the call that it was my time now to step up and awaken the teacher within me. When Parashakti offered this invitation to me to Gatekeep, to hold space for others in the Dance at Wanderlust, it was like my whole body said yes! That little girl inside me, the one that doesn’t feel safe to open up and share my gifts with the world, stepped aside in that moment.

In this journey I have been on as a DOL apprentice, supported by Parashakti, Spirit, and the dance, I have begun to step into the power of Wild Woman. Wild Woman, an archetype I was introduced to through the writings of Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D in her book, Women Who Run With the Wolves, is ageless, timeless, limitless. Wild Woman guides by intuition to inner landscapes lush and fertile with magic. As I am nourishing the Wild Woman in me, who is me and so much bigger than me, I can hold my little girl insideand let her know that she is, that I am,  safe and protected to be in the worldexactly as I am, Divinely flawed and whole.

By answering Spirit’s call that day and stepping up as Gatekeeper, I learned that all my stories about inadequacy that my ego has had on repeat for the longest time are just that, stories! Being of service as a gatekeeper liberated me in that dance from those stories. Stepping outside our small selves, we can all become vessels, hollow bones, and allow our innate giftsto flow freely.

 

When I dance in this sacred way I feel as though I am tapping into an unlimited wellspring of life. This energy fills me with such abundance and joy. I am not lacking in anything, all is provided. But, when I leave the dance floor and go on with the rest of my day, I often experience scarcity, the fear of not having enough. It feels like a hollow pit in my stomach that cannot be filled no matter how hard I grasp for external comfort. So, I have been pondering how to bring this feeling of abundance off the dance floor and into the rest of my life.

Being of service as a gatekeeper lifted this veil for me where I realized how important it is to give in order to receive. Reciprocity. This concept is so contrary to many of the messages we receive all around us from the society we live in. Being of service allows us to shift from a place of scarcity, from “what am I getting out of this?”, to a place of abundance, “what can I offer?”. By surrendering to a grander power, a bigger picture, whatever you want to call it, allows us to move through the world with less fear and greater love. When we are being love, we are abundant, there is more than enough to go around. Love is like a flame, it does not diminish when we share it, it only burns brighter and hotter the more we give it out.

I feel grateful and honored for the gift of service I received this week. May we all be blessed in this new year to surrender to greater love.

AHO!
Margot S.

The Dance Continues

Wow! Sunday was the third day of my Dance of Liberation immersion weekend where I danced with theEcstatic Dance LA community. The name says it all- a truly ecstatic experience! I am filled with joy to have shared this dance with such a vibrant community.

The dance began in a circle as we meditated on our intentions for this Winter Solstice dance.

What can we let go of this year? What do you want to call in to your life this year?

The circle felt ancient and timeless-reminding me of the sacredWinter Solstice tradition honored by communities all over world as a time to gather together around the fire.

The music picked us up off of the floor and as a community we began to move.The beat picked up and the energy in the room became electric as we danced, sweating our prayers. Building the fire in our hearts to illuminate the longest night of the year and the path towards greater clarity, greater creativity, greater love in the new year almost upon us.

I called in the energy of Kali- the goddess of time, creation, change, destruction, and empowerment-  that I had met in myself just two days ago during the vision quest with Parashakti.This energy was moving me, moving through me. Graceful and strong, without hesitation I danced through the room. As the music built, the fire inside me grew bigger, hotter. I felt masks of self consciousness melt away as I moved through the room, fiercely free.

The music begins to slow and settle into stillness.

Stillness is so vulnerable for me. So often when I am still, my body and mind fill with anxiety. I have told myself a story for too long that if I stand still and let the world see me, raw and unfiltered,  the world will reject me. This of course is only a story but when we continue to tell ourselves these stories, they become our reality. I don’t know about you, but I am ready for a new story, a new reality. One that is limitless, expansive, filled with love and creative passion.

When I felt the music slow, the stillness arrive- I felt as though I was standing on the edge of a cliff. I could step back and hide in my habitual patterns, my old story, or I could jump off that cliff and soar! Calling on my new spirit guide, fierce Kali, I relaxed into the stillness of the dance. Closing my eyes, feeling my feet rooted, I breathed in inner strength, I built my fire.

I opened my eyes and there was a lovely pair of eyes looking back at me, inviting me to dance. Usually, I would awkwardly avoid eye contact and move away to dance elsewhere, or suffer through a few minutes of dancing with someone but spend the entire time in my head and out of my body.  Not today! I jumped off the cliff and into a new reality. In this reality, in this dance, I was embodied. I felt proud to show this new dance partner who I am. My movements felt authentic and alive and it was actually a lot of fun!

I am in awe of this process I have been experiencing as a Dance of Liberation apprentice with Parashakti. What I thought would be years and years of an uphill climb to self actualization is happening at lightening speeds. Utilizing these modalities Parashakti is lovingly guiding me through- dance, kundalini yoga, shamanic healing, and more- is helping me release so much, making space for new ways of being, more honest ways of being.

Aho!
Margot

Dance of Liberation Immersion: Dance of the Dragon

I showed up in Los Angeles just a couple of weeks ago, thinking I would be here for just a few days. Here I am beginning this month long apprenticeship with Parashakti. You just never know what the Divine has in store for you! I am learning that one of the most important and often challengingthings you can do for yourself is TRUST, trust, trust.

I left NY with a broken heart and hit the open road with a few bags and an intention- to let go of the self limiting beliefs I have carried for so long and step into my power, my creativity, my fire. But how? How do we go from being our own worst enemy to becoming our own best ally?

Here begins my documentation of this journey back home to myself.

My apprenticeship program started on Friday Dec. 20 & is a weekend DOL immersion. I joined Parashakti as she facilitated a Dance of Liberation intensive for a group of alumni of Rebecca’s House- an eating disorder treatment program in Long Beach, California. We began with a shamanic journey ~ guided meditation.  Blindfolded and lying down Parashakti invited us to set an intention for this journey we were about to begin. I prayed to find my power, my strength, that I know already exists within and unleash it! From there we shut the door on whatever was holding us back from realizing these parts of ourselves and were guided to meet our spirit guides.

I pulled back the curtain and there I was- half dragon, half woman. Cloaked in black, face smeared in black paint with wings black as midnight with the most brilliant sheen. My tongue hung from my wide open mouth as I danced wildly and fiercely, with clear and powerful movements. My legs kicking high and straight above my head. No hesitation. No fear of my power. I breathed fire. It coursed through my veins, animating me as I realized my true nature.

Parashakti’s voice- “Breathe this energy in!”  I felt my heart expand and open. As I inhaled, a solidity, a strength entered me and filled my core. I AM HERE!

In awe of how instantaneously my prayer was answered, we began to dance the Dance of Liberation.

Dancing blindfolded can seem a bit scary- will I fall? will I run into someone? But the container Parashakti had created for the alumni and myself combined with meeting my spirit guide allowed me to turn inward and let the dance come from within my soul. I trusted my feet to lead me around the room. Undistracted by the movements of others, I connected to my breath, my body, and the fire inside. I felt liberated.

The Dance of Liberation immersion continued on Saturday morning whenParashakti and I went to Soul Motion dance in Culver City. Guided by Parashakti to ask myself the right questions, I prayed. What do I need to nourish and embody this Shakti energy? How can I stay connected to this fire growing within me? Connecting to this intention, I began to dance. So much comes up when we dance with an open heart. In the dance I felt strong, fluid, free, and filled with joy. In moments I felt my wounds of abandonment, shame, and unworthiness.

Opening your heart and allowing the dance to move you does not mean it is all “light”. Our bodies hold it all, the light and the dark, the confusion and the clarity. The dance brings it all to the surface so we can face the shit. What a gift!

This work with Parashakti is deep and it is sacred. Words cannot describe the gratitude I feel for her spirit. I am being given the gift of sacred space to unravel and the guidance and support to begin to re-weave the fabric of my being into the divine masterpiece I am here on this earth to become.

AHO!!!
Margot S.